I'm not dead yet!
Dead GM

Welcome to Bones' UO Malbag page! Some of the mail I get is rather interesting or amusing. I won't post everything I get here, but merely some of the messages that really stand out.

Important NOTE-
In the case of the "abusive" messages I receive, I often don't reply to them (in fact there are many messages I don't reply to anyway), and thus some of the replies below may never actually have gone straight to the sender. And when I *do* reply, I'm not usually argumentative, insulting, arrogant, etc, but in some of these cases I just can't help myself; some of them really deserve it! :-)

[the following message came in today (March 17th), and I just couldn't resist posting it here. It reminds me of an old anonymous message I received back when I ran my BBS, which I have also posted below for historical purposes] :-)

Subject: UO-Commentaries
   Date: Tue, 17 Mar 1998 20:45:07 -0500
your comments about "tank-mages" would help game balance, but, noone cares about that except a select few. if origin used any of your ideas, it would make the game ALOT less fun to play and probly make more people mad than happy that they are no longer a gm tank-mage. the unbalanced characters are also origin's fault, i started as a warrior, then i notices magery was really powerfull, so i started that, now archery is overpowered, so naturally i use it, and am now a gm in all these fields. you would probly see characters like me as unbalanced in the game. well, really i dont care because i play uo to have fun, and this makes it funner, in fact, i think all skill caps should be taken off so i can be a thief and maybe a blacksmith too. (boy im a "lamer") (duhhuhuh). if you would spend more time trying to have fun, rather than playing only to find a flaw and make a web sight wineing about it that you think its affecting your "role-playing experience" (i love the way that sounds, makes me wanna buy some magic cards and wine about uo) personally i think the only problem with uo is people like you, :-), sorry buts its true, and i think all sights like yours should be nuked off the web completely for something like trying to mess up my favorite game (ack!) i hope origin doesnt listen to people like you, that would be bad, very bad, instead they should go find some of the players that actualy put time into playing instead of building lame web sites to complain about the unbalancedness of uo. sorry about that one, but im only 5 so dont worry. just rethink why you play games, to have fun? or to be a fool and make uo alot harder, less fun, and make peole get mad and quit? -i play games for fun not for, uh, something else. um. bye.

Bones' reply:

I'm sorry, but I really just can't take such a message seriously. Actually, I couldn't help but laugh out loud! You contradict yourself, you know. And the pure naivety is quite outstanding. Hahah!

I think it's safe to say that we all play to have fun. But it would be a lie if I were to say that everyone has fun being 100% in every skill. Where's the challenge? You may not believe this, but game balance is actually very important to the enjoyment of a game. :-)

As for your comments that are of a more personal nature, they're rather uncalled for, and well, no one forces you to read these pages. Hahah! :-)

Anyway, that's the sort of response you get when you make it personal. Hahah!

[The following message didn't get e-mailed to me about this site, as the date should show that it happened a long time ago. It was sent to me anonymously when I was the sysop of my own BBS (someone logged in as a guest and sent feedback to the sysop). I figured I'd post this one here too, since it gives you an idea of just how wacky people behave around you once you start to get "into the spotlight" online. At the time I used the name "Necromancer". I have no reply because writing one to the guest account would have been pointless. Once again I was laughing hysterically when I received it! Luckily, such posts are a small fraction of what I receive (and no, this is *not* an invitation to e-mail me such things!)] :-)

(5/10): Hi there
  Name: Magician Guest #203 @701
  Date: Tue Apr 13 05:36:02 1993
RE: Feedback.

Hello Necromancer,

I'm calling from Winnipeg, in Canada. I just played one of your games - Dragon something, I think it was called and I lost. I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you how much I hate you for this. I really hope you die. You probably fuck small animals, don't you? That is, when your Mom isn't around, eh? When she's there, you probably do her, don't you? Fuck, you're sick, man. That's gross, fucking your Mom. Does your Dad abuse you sexually? Is that why you're so fucked up? I can almost understand now - having your Dad jizz up your ass must have fucked you up good as a kid. But still, to take it out by romping your Mom is SICK! And animals, too! The Humane Society would have something to say about that if they ever found out, I tell you.

Well, it's been nice chatting with you. Take care. Bye.


= Ed T. Toton III / NecroBones Enterprises / Contact
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